A month before my XH left for the OW, he got home on a Thursday night from work, went to Lowes, bought everything needed to build a 10 x 10 foot patio, brought it home, and spent that night, Friday night, and then entire weekend in 95 degree heat and humidity building a patio. FOR ME. To make it feel like we were on vacation EVERY DAY we sat there, as we put a fire table and chairs on it so we could have a fire under the stars. For the past 10 years, every vacation we took was out in the mountains of VA where we had a campfire. He busted his butt for 3 days plus making me this patio. I asked him why immediately and he said "to show you how much I love you." Then 3 weeks later, said on that patio in front of our friends, "let's renew our vows." I looked into his eyes. I believed every word.
Why would a man do that? Why would he build a patio for me? Because he already felt guilty I guess about his thoughts. It seems to be a common pattern that they say or do the nicest things right before the bomb. I think they are trying to convince themselves, just like they are doing now in claiming that THIS reality is what's best for them.
They are lost, Tad. Lost. There is no rational explanation.
M45 Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11 Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy "Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying
