The end of the call turned more personal. She started thanking me for everything through this. Thanked me for the Mothers Day gift. Told me how proud she was of my changes and that "they don't go unnoticed." She talked about how happy she was of the things I have been doing with D. How important the father-daughter relationship is.
However, with all of this, she made a comment (can't remember the exact wording) that she was glad D will have a "happy" dad. Just the way she said it, it just came across as a validation that she is doing the right thing. Almost that because she left me, I have improved, and it will be good for D.
At one point, when we were talking about her dropping off D I thought it sounded like she was going to drop her off at the house. I asked if she would like to stay for a while. She said "no, let's just meet."
Overall, it was about a 20 minute call. I was glad she was comfortable venting with me. It was nice to hear her recognize my help and my changes. I just help but can't wish she would take it a step further. She just won't budge, and the truth is she likely never will.
CS, I have heard something very similar to this from my W. My W's exact words were, "out of all of this, it is good that the kids have their dad back". Really?
I think there are several things that have to play out here. In no particular order:
-The W has to see that the changes are permanent.
-They have to come to terms and take responsibility for their part in the breakdown of the M.
-At some point the WAS has to see the grass isn't greener on the other side.
I feel the same way as you on taking it a step further and if my W will ever want to work on the R/M.
The only thing we can do is be patient until we have no more to give.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
