W calls crying. She called to tell me she called into work tonight, just can't do it tonight. She works in the ER, and said it would be too tough to be in that environment. That she can't have a breakdown in front of her patients or co-workers.
Said it comes in waves (don't we know it).
She talked to me for a while. Kept saying how it wasn't fair. How if he would have made it just another 5 minutes, he would have made it inside work and he would have gotten treatment immediately. Everything just worked against him.
She was glad she had gotten to see him before he died.
I just let her go, offering little "I know" and "I understands" along the way. She needed to vent, and I was glad to let her vent to me.
Then unfortunately we dropped the call (I swear, 2 iphones have an almost 100% chance of dropping a call ).
I called right back, and the conversation took a turn. She started talking about her sister who is flying back into town tomorrow and all of her drama. Her oldest sister is a piece of work. I won't go into the details, but I just let her vent about this as well.
We decided to meet again this evening so I could pick up D. I told her she could keep her if she wanted, but we decided to stick with the normal schedule.
The end of the call turned more personal. She started thanking me for everything through this. Thanked me for the Mothers Day gift. Told me how proud she was of my changes and that "they don't go unnoticed." She talked about how happy she was of the things I have been doing with D. How important the father-daughter relationship is.
However, with all of this, she made a comment (can't remember the exact wording) that she was glad D will have a "happy" dad. Just the way she said it, it just came across as a validation that she is doing the right thing. Almost that because she left me, I have improved, and it will be good for D.
At one point, when we were talking about her dropping off D I thought it sounded like she was going to drop her off at the house. I asked if she would like to stay for a while. She said "no, let's just meet."
Overall, it was about a 20 minute call. I was glad she was comfortable venting with me. It was nice to hear her recognize my help and my changes. I just help but can't wish she would take it a step further. She just won't budge, and the truth is she likely never will.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
).