bolt tightening

[Bolt]

To answer your question, I have ONLY been saying good things about their mother. AND I'm very genuine about it.

As a matter of fact, when my W basically threw the Ds out of the house last weekend, I talked to them and said that Mommy is under a lot of stress and doesn't mean what she does or says. I had them go in and give her a big hug - the biggest they ever gave her...she then proceeded to push them away and told them to get out of the house.

They were a wreck...I STILL stood my ground and said that she didn't mean it and that deep down, she still loves them.

My oldest is really hurt over this BUT she is so much happier with me. There is no drama. We don't talk about the D or the problems. She just wants to get on with being a kid. I make her go outside and play - get muddy.

The thing I may have a problem with is using her as a sounding board. I've done that in the past and know it's wrong now. I'm trying now to insulate them

My youngest is pretty insulated because she just goes with the flow. The oldest is very in tuned to what is going on. I'm trying so hard to keep her from growing up and trying to fix things. I don't want her to grow up being codependent.