Bolt, while I currently don't post to you, I do read everything you write.
In this, my role as a father is/was to protect my children. I insulated them as best I could. I did not involve them with what was going on between me and my wife. I did not appear anything but as strong and confident as I could to them. I did not use them for support or a sounding board. I would allay their fears as best I could, without filling their heads with my own hopes.
She is 11. Can she handle it?
I'd look into a child councilor. Someone safe for her.
As for your wife saying you are posioning your daughter against her?
Are you?
Are you telling her things that paint your wife poorly?
I used to tell my boys when they started to ask, "That mom and I loved loved them very much, and neither one of them had anything to do with the problems between mom and I. That this was something we had to work out."
I never talked badly about my wife to them. Ever. Their shoulder weren't big enough for that and I wasn't going to cripple them.
Tell your wife to talk to her, she might not want to be married to you, but you are still both parents to your daughters, you both should be able to talk civiliy about them and both be on the same page regarding them.
My wife was a horrible mother at the time, but you know what? She was still their mom. Did I want my kids around the OM? No. Absolutely not. Not something I could control though. And he was never going to replace me as their dad. He was just the guy f-ing my wife.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
