I get your point on actions not words, but I think she is almost at her breaking point (maybe even breakdown) and I am afraid without me talking with her, she won't see all her options and will choose one that will do a lot of damage to her, us and our family.
What has worked is being her friend and not pushing or expecting anything in return. Every time I have backed off, she has come forward. But...has that really worked? It's been a year and a half of separation and in some ways she has never been more gone, and she has never been less happy or more confused - I think.
Honestly, I have not tried LRT full on. I managed to go dark for 10 days and then when I did contact regarding ending things now, it turned into a 3 hour conversation which ended with her agreeing that she would be ok with whatever I decide - but she knows I likely wouldn't decide to end it now.
On one hand, I think if I do go LRT full on, or even just stay 100% dark again, it will bring her to me. On the other hand, I think it could bring more of the same; limbo land. She can live day by day forever and just accept that's what life is. She isn't happy other than surface happy at times, but she can live like that now.
One of her last statements during that 3 hour talk, was "I (or we) can't keep living like this. Something has to change". But, what is her something? I have the gut feeling that we are at do or die time. So..what do I change?
I am considering going dark again until her bday on June 23rd and then calling to wish her a happy one and then speaking to her again before I go on vacation in early July.
I know we are at a crucial point and just don't want to blow it.
