Yesterday, I had a job interview for 9:30 and w called about 9 to talk about kids and future plans with new job if I got it. I told her that it is going to be tough, but we would find a way to get through it. She leaves very early in the am for work, and so would I if I got the job. Summer break will be here soon, but still they have sports over the summer and the issue of what to do with s8. At the end the conv she told me good luck on interview and I just said bye.
A few hours later she text to ask if I was still in interview, and I waited about 10 minutes and replied that I left over an hour ago. She texted back wanting to know how it went, I told w it went fine. She then asked about s8 baseball game and what time. I did not text back, and she said nevermind.

She got home from work, and walked in door with strange look about her like something was wrong. I didnt ask,and just went about my normal routine. She tried to make small talk with me and I kept the conv to a minimumn. I then left with S8 and S12 to go to ball game. D14 and w had dance team meeting to go to and would meet at ball game later. After I left, she texted me withing a few minutes and asked what I was so pissed about today. I waited 5 minutes and said I wasnt. She then texted what was my problem then? Waited 5 minutes again and advised nothing that I was good.

w arrived with d at ballgame and sat in stands, while I and s12 stood up by fence. I noticed she had that same depressed look about her and tried not to let her know I was paying any attention. Normally she has her phone in hand at games and not once did she pick it up or look at it. It has been the same at home, she will not let it out of her site. Takes it everywhere she goes. She will lay in bed at night with it, checking messages and looking at facebook. After the game she came home and I was starting dinner. She hasnt been very involved in house cleaning or dinner of late. She came into the kitchen and started to help me. I told her that I could handle it and she said that she wanted to help. Then she make a comment that I dont let her get involved with much of nothing around the house anymore. I told her that she could do whatever she wanted.

We cooked dinner, and then the kids and I sat at table to eat, she seemed nervous but eventually sat with us to eat. I cleaned up afterwards and she assisted with that also.

Back to the cell phone, when she does go to take a shower at night she takes phone with her, she will put it in bathroom or right outside bathroom where she can see it while in shower. This time she left it in living room, and when she got out, she never went to it to check it. I went to sit down and watch tv with kids and she came to me and kids and asked if anyone had any objections to her going to her moms to spend the night. I told her I didnt care and the kids said the same.

I went into the bathroom to shower, she came in there and asked me if this is the way we were going to act in front of the kids, I told her that I was acting normal and had no issues with anyone. She said she was leaving and said bye, and I didnt reply.

I got out of shower and dressed, I can hear kids saying bye to her, but she would not leave. She waited until I got dressed and then killed time in kitchen until I went back into living room. She passed me by front door, and I said bye, and then she said bye to me with a very soft, sad voice.

I am not falling for it, nor having any expectations. There is still a long road infront of me and still the issue of OM/EA. I think at this point since I stopped talking about R and OM the last few days, that now she has some time to think about what she is doing without pressure from me. I also think that the EA is losing some steam as they work together and the newness is wearing off. I also feel that she understands more everyday that OM is married with kids and will be a challenge for him to leave his family.

At this point, I am not sure how I should act towards her, keep the somewhat cold shoulder, or try to soften up a bit. I am not being mean, or saying anything hurtful, I am just not hanging on every word or starting conv with her.

It is only 10 days from the day that I told her she needed to tell the kids about her leaving. I truly feel that is a conv she doesnt want to have. But if her mind is make up then she needs to go with it and be fair to them.

I have my second DB coach call in about 30 minutes and I will update on how that went and what my approach will be from Lori's advice.
Have a good day all!!!