I won't hit you with a 2 x4 b/c something tells me YOU KNOW THIS!!
Instead, I'll point out two things. First, end any conversation (tirade) by walking away. You can say, "I'm sorry I involved your h. It won't happen again. But I won't be talked to like this anymore now. Good bye." And then you walk away. Period.
Second, although I'm not sure why you involved your ex w at all, I took her comments as a net positive...
So, back to the new plan...
And as far as your attitude around ex w and her family, you'll be so busy doing some NEW GAL activities, that meeting new people will be nice. (No reminders and no cross talk)
Here's what I put on my voicemail at the peak of my GAL...
"Hello, we're busy going to new, exciting places, meeting fascinating people and doing fun, interesting things...leave a message and we'll call you when we can!"
It eventually became my truth. You know, "fake it til you make it" does work.
Good luck
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
