Mission 25. I Really Mean it this time>

[ninelives]

Maybe not cut out to DB after all. Major events happened today, that did not go well for my sitch and I am to blame for most of it.

I think I mentioned that on Monday, Youngest Son went fishing with BIL, they caught a whack of fish and BIL cleaned and gave to W. BIL hates OM with a passion and is only being nice to my W( his SIL) to appease his wife.

Son told me that W had OM over for dinner on MOnday and shared in his catch. I know BIL would have been upset to learn this.

I was upset about this because I dont want OM around my youngest son anyway as I believe it is too soon for that. I was being childish and hurt but the turn of events.

SIL and BIL were having marital problems over our Sitch and BIL would not even talk to my W earlier this year and actually wished her dead to his W ( my W's sister)

Since their mother died, BIL has softend his stance on my W to appease his wife as they were headed for Divorce themselves, she even left him for a few days back in Dec and lived with her mother. This is so convuluted. i hope you readers are following along.

My ex Sil came over and asked me to stop getting support from her H because it was affecting their relationship. I promised that i would not confide in him anymore although we are very tight and one of my best friends here despite our age difference.

He is 68 years old.

We were talking today and I did mention that OM had dinner with the fish son caught and BIL cleaned. I dont know why I did it or said it. I was hurt by it and felt that she should not have had him over for dinner on such a perosnel meal. I called my councilor and he agreed I made a mistake by saying that but it was a small error that should not have escalated to what it did.

When i got home from my drum lesson,SIL's car was in my driveway and i knew what was coming next. We have had a rocky relationship at times, I believe that she is nuts. So many examples I could point to over the years including her kicking my wife in the shns in a mall because her daughter found a playboy book of mine which was in a box of my personal things I stored at their house when I was 27 and didnt want to take with me to the mainland. I forgot book was there and it was in a box of my teaching things and tucked away. She called me a degenerate and said my w was crazy for dating me since I had that book. I could go on.

She asked me if I talke to her H about her sister and if I told him that OM had dinner with my W. I said I did , but it was in confidence, I didnt expect it to get back to you.

She said they were on the cusp of divorce because of me and that I want back on my promise not to tell him anything. I apologized and said i havent told him anything for months and that this slipped out because I was upset about the turn of events.

(PLEASE get out the 2x4's , I cannot believe that I did tell him that, he was out in his driveway, we chatted about other things and then I couldnt leave well enough alone, WHY 9, WHY?)

WEll she let me have it with both barrels. HOw I was such a lazy pr!ck and always demeaned her sister and how I was useless and why her sister ever married me in the first place. And it went on and on. She was pointing at me and swearing etc.

This was outside but it went on for what seemed an eternity till I finally had enough and started to respond. I guess I pointed at her too and she said, " What are you going to do , HIT ME"?

I could not believe she said that, I said " NO of course not"

I asked her to calm down but she would not. ( She was drunk btw, something she does a lot for the last few years)

The tirade went on and she called me selfish and that I should move on as my marriage was over and I cant even remember the rest but it was nasty.

I texted my wife when I got inside, ( she is working nights) and told her that her sister was here and that she shares similar views of me being useless, lazy etc.

W texts back saying that she has been doing a lot of thinking lately and sees that I was NEVER lazy or useless that she only said that when angry, which has been alot lately.

Then asks why her sister and I got into it and to leave her out of it.

I come clean with my role in this and tell her that I was sorry that I said that to BIL, that as soon as it came out of my mouth, i regretted it.

She was ofcourse upset with me and also with herself. She should have known better than to invite OM for dinner with the fish that son caught and BIL cleaned etc. But the finger pointing was more at me.

I will continue in a new post.

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