I think SS is the real problem. She can't handle him. She's decided you can't handle him. For now, he is responding to OM. So he is a godsend. Until SS gives OM the same trouble he gives both of you, OM will look like that guy on the white horse she is waiting for.
Don't help her. Let her sink or swim in the new life.
To your last sentence - I think that it may come to this. Not yet. I need to give my W more time to see the consistent changes in me. And while she is still generally keeping distance from OM, which she is, this is what I believe that I need to do.
The first paragraph quoted above. You are somewhat correct. SS is a huge problem. And my W is having a very difficult time with the problem that he is creating for her. For her, I am an easy target for blame. I was never involved enough... I wasn't a good role model to show SS how to be respectful to W... etc., etc. What I don't agree on his that SS has responded to OM in any way that is very threatening to me. SS has only seen OM one time in the past 2 1/2 months. That was when W had OM over for dinner a week and a half ago. How OM is with SS isn't my biggest concern here. OM just represents a fantasy of a new beginning... or a new life for W... one that does not include all of the old, bad memories. M W's perception of how I was with SS prior to her leaving me IS my concern. As with everything else, I am competing against my old self here.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
