wife having affair - please help

[facingdivorce]

Sorry that was a long post and hopefully not too dense to read. I know I am acting more like Charlie Sheen the winning warlock than calm cool collected. So I am breathing, I am walking, I am trying to decompress.

25 you really have me thinking hard about everything. The point about finding your forgiving nature which you didnt think existed, has set me off. I dont think I am a forgiving person and tend to be very black and white in my judgements. Of course what I am learning is that the whole situation is very grey,I have no control over it and I am lashing out.

So my new uber goal is to discover, learn, develop a forgiveness in me and learn how to show it and use it.

That leads me on to your other point of speaking like a parent, I am definately guilty of that. I have been working on that both in verbal and written communications to be concillatory, to be respectful, but how I perceive it is different to how my wife sees it. I would say she doesnt trust it at all. These will all take time to make happen ( and I dont think it will be straight forward ) and then demonstrate.

Thanks as usual for hearing me out