By the time noon rolled around today, I had let go the anger. And I worked through thoughts of how I might deal with that in the future.
I could go back through my email and post some of the stuff that I'm emotionally holding on to regarding the anger, which initially started off as fear. Fear that I would loose my kids, which then turned to anger as a defense mechanism. Certainly unnecessary to post that stuff. I know where this emotion is coming from.
So what I ultimately am doing and will continue to practice, is counting to 9 million 12 thousand and 84. Sufficient time to allow myself to rationally process the "factual" information in the conversations around the kids. First in email as much as possible, then eventually face to face, as will happen in time.
The other part around this is to remember that, while I may have far less time with the kids right now, and the current "flexibility" around their schedule will feel more than annoying to me at first, this is all temporary. Eventually we will work on and have what will be a fair schedule with the kids. And that makes having patience and faith in the future and patience... and more patience... of the utmost importance, right now. I AM a patient man. I always have been. My reaction is fear based. I need to let go the fear.
Otherwise, a good day. Less productive than yesterday in some ways. More in others.
