The way you are feeling is the way we have all felt at the place you are now, i.e.: the beginning. Crying out to God for mercy and asking Why Me? I believe that is the first step towards healing and redemption. Laying it on God to handle, because you can only control what YOU do, not what anyone else does.
With time, the feelings will lessen in intensity, and then flare up again, but more infrequently. Also, everyone has their own voyage to take, and there are many different twists and turns.
What I have learned from this Board over the past year is this: Have no Expectations. Live as if he is Never Coming Back. Distance yourself as much as you can from the craziness, for your own sanity. Take care of yourself, because you have to be well to take care of your son. These are all hard lessons to learn, and learning patience unfortunately takes patience.
But your feelings are normal, and okay. Come hear to rant or cry or whatever. You'll feel better for doing so. ((HUGS))
ME: 54 Him: 51 M: 20 years T: 21 years OW/New wife: 36 Sons & Daughters: 7 (ages 24-36) Bomb: March 4, 2010 He Filed: April 28, 2010 I Contested: May 1, 2010 Standing Down: 11/24/10 Divorced : 05/04/2011
