Ok so you snooped? I would prob have done the same thing. I know it is just information but it sure does hurt doesn't it? Look Denver,W is going to do what W is going to do. There really is little you can do about it. You can continue on, and I suggest you do or you can let this determine how to proceed. In my opinion that would be a mistake.
When my boss would ask me "how the hell did you get that done?" I would say 'don't ask question to which you don't want to know the answers' I would caution you against the same thing even though the temptation is huge. At best you confirmed what W has been telling you she had a R with him and he is not completely out of her life yet. Did you make any new discoveries? I didn't see any?
Now you have allowed this to define your day and your emotions, for what purpose? I say this while admitting that I might have fallen to the same temptation while I was M.
Her phrases are words I've heard before and sound very familiar to me but they are just words and while they are a sign that she opening up to u a little they are by no means a measure or indication of how you should feel.
I strongly believe that love is a choice you make and if you make it you do it regardless of how the other person feels or reacts towards you because you have made the choice to love them. You love the person regardless of the way they feel about you. This is extremely difficult to do because when we feel the other person is not returning our love we immediately recoil or lash out but it is at this time that you grow and learn to really learn the definition of loving someone, remember if love is a choice what she is doing, saying or thinking holds no value to how you treat her because YOU have chosen to love her.
Loving someone who is not loving you goes against our natural tendencies. If you claim to be ok with W and OM then you are being hypocritical (I know u haven't) but if we look at love as our actions towards them instead of what we say then you are really doing something for them because you love them and that is your choice. You are not saying something because you think it's what they want to hear you are doing something for their benefit and that is the choice to love them through actions and not words. You don't have to be a doormat or agree with everything W says and you don't have to have a warm and fuzzy about what she does but you can do loving ACTS because that is what you have chosen to do. Now u hope that along the way the love is given back but it does not matter if she does or not because YOU have chosen to love her through actions and at the very least you can be proud of the way you have handled yourself.
As far as the OM he has done as much as W has allowed him to do and yes life with you is reality and life with him is a fantasy. He filled an emotional gap you did not and that is hard to walk away from but her love for you must be huge if after feeling euphoric with OM she is has stopped her R with him and has moved closer to you whether you see it or not. It certainly was more than I can say for my own sitch.
We all know that reality sinks in sooner or later for all us including our WAS some will regret it and some will not, that is just plain truth. I think, and this is just my opinion, a lot of their regret will be based on 1. The M/R they had with you 2. How you handled yourself after the split up.
Both you and I have admitted some of the same mistakes but neither you nor I can go back and correct them but we can start today and works towards a better tomorrow. You still have that chance, a chance a lot of us would love to have. Some of us have lost that for many reasons.
