It's been a while...

[ericmsant2]

DMK

I still love XH and feel stupid for doing so after so long

Don’t feel stupid. FTR, you can love something and yet still not want it or love something but realize that it/they are not good for you – at least not NOW.

I know his life isn't easy financially

It's also not easy for him to be away from his kids

Consequences for HIS choices I’d say and NOT a reason to reconnect, at least not in my book.

It's hard for me to be in his head because I would have never imagined leaving my kids, so it's hard for me to think that missing them/us the motivation.

1) You should not try to be in his head.
2) You did not leave your kids – he did.

We're both surviving, I'm just doing it better

Maybe because you did the work required. Did he do his? Better yet….do you think you can be the light to help him see what he needs to see on HIS OWN?

I don't pay much attention to his actions now.

I would if I was thinking of having him move back in. DB101….action not words!

He talks a lot about how miserable life is for him now, but this is the first step he's really made towards changing the way things are between us

1) Ya can’t fix em
2) Step towards changing OR desperation? Only YOU know the answer to this.

I worry about being the back-up plan

Then take it slow until this worry begins to dissipate.

I made it clear last night when he brought this up that I wasn't looking for a roommate, that if I was going to share my home I want a partner.

DEFINE partner FOR YOURSELF….. Butt that up against his actions and I think things will become clearer.

But I think I want to have tried this for them, to know that I really, truly did everything I could.

Hmmm…..only YOU know what is best for you and your family and ONLY YOU know when you have done everything that you could. “No regrets”……someone once gave me this advice – very simple actually. You will KNOW when you have no regrets….IF you are honest with yourself.

I wish the best for YOU, your D’s and……YOUR H.

God Bless,
Eric