Your wife is playing a dangerous (and dirty) game. In our state, if a parent hinders the communicatioins between another parent and their child, or bad mouths the other parent , it is called "parental alienation" and it can cost the one doing it, custody.
As for the journal, she's had it awhile and yet let you care for the d alone for hours or days at a time, correct? How dangerous could she have believed you to be? IThat means she trusted you with the d's care until she wanted to extort you w/the journal. NOT going to work...it's like people who say their spouse is a dangerous drunk, BUT HAVE LET THAT SAME "DANGEROUS DRUNK" care for their children for hours and days at a time, only to whip out that threat when there's a divorce. Courts frown on that, a lot. It's too convenient. But things like showing up for your d, do matter. Missing her birthday was a mistake, so was missing out on her illness. You can't throw your hands up and do the "I'm too weak" routine anymore, or you will lose her. Your d is worth manning up for, or no one is. Simply put, Do it, or lose her.
Keep the nasty talks between the L's and refer your w's anger to her L. That's what you retain them for. So when she goes off on you, tell her to call her L and have them work it out b/c you aren't going to keep doing that dance where you get mistreated. You insist on it in fact, warn her, then you calmly say "Call me when you are calmer" and hang up.
If she revises the marriage too much for you, (= if it's important -like when she calls you a bad dad) you can say "are you trying to damage the R I have with our D? That's NOT something courts like. It's bad for HER. You are the one who deceived me, removing her from the area, so ask YOUR L how that looks...b/c some people call it parental abductions. BUT What matters is now, and how we can be adults about this, putting her first and your anger after..."
She could be accused of abducting[/b] SO, if she wants to talk about who is playing dirty, you might bring that up, but do it in a way that shows you have cards up your sleeves which you have chosen NOT to use....yet. She does not have ALL the cards.
When it comes to this type of stuff, the nitty gritty of custody and money, you do what you have to do to see your d, without consideration of what your w would like or prefer or if she's more likely to see you favorably, etc. What matters FIRST is the custody issue. DB says, take care of business. You have to. The rest will follow.
Don't care/worry or believe that her anger at you fighting for your d, will be there forever. If anything, down the road, this will make a positive impression on her. How can it not? Sure, NOW she's mad...but down the road, what healthy woman would blame the father of her child for wanting to be with that child?
And your L must make clear that your w CANNOT make it harder for you to see or talk to your d. It's your legal and moral right. Assert it. Otherwise she'll say "since when?" And it might be used against you if you haven't been pursuing it consistently. Make sense? Otherwise, believe it or not, I think things are finally happening in a way that makes you look like a man, and Not a doormat who is terrified of his wife.
Keep your L posted on the "parental alienation" stuff and shut that poop down NOW...she has to let you see and talk to your D!!!
This could be progress, not the reverse. Just mho.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
