Journal entry Mixed day, spent a very lovingly morning with her, she really loves the coffee. Everything would have gone well except that she lost her temper twice. The silver lining was that she didn't go full WAW on me. Both times she lost her temper she didn't use the D word in anger. Other than that it was very nice, she even laid her head on my chest for a few minutes while watching tv. I loved that.
This morning went mostly well too until I was about to leave work. I accidentally had passed loud non odorous gas. It came out of nowhere, she acted bothered by it, but in a silly kinda way. Then she said kinda jokingly, this is why I'm not attracted to you. I tried laughing it off, but it really hurt. I left with a smile though. I know most people will think this ridiculous, but one of her major turn offs is "gross things".
On another note, it dawned on me how to describe what a lot of WAW's that come back, but are not willing to fully commit are thinking.
"it feels so wrong, that it feels so right."
This describes the state of mind that a lot of the WAS are in it seems, so many stories of returning spouses wanting to work it out but giving way less than 100%. It's like they come back to prove to themselves that it won't work, but get frustrated when things go so well, because it goes against their original plan. It can be so hard to reconcile what they say with how they act.
Ok rant over.
In case anyone was wondering I'm still chalking up yesterday as an up day. It was nice being with her.
