So why can't I can't seem to find any semblance of patience? I'm honestly thinking about trying to get on meds of some kind to help with the anxiety...it's really getting that bad. There are times when my heart races so hard that it worries me. And the thing is, I know that W IS trying. She's coming to terms with a lot of stuff on her side of things like I've talked about, but I know that she's also trying to decide if she's strong enough to work on us. She's made it clear that spending 6 months trying to find the courage to possibly leave was not easy, and I shouldn't assume that she can just come back right away without also finding the strength to do that as well. I need to take solace in that.
I think the anxiety is that you're stressed. This is a very stressful situation. There is so much uncertainty. At times, like the rest of us, I'm sure you're fearing the worst. My DB coach told me fear is powerful motivator but a terrible guide. Time is your friend right now.
Just know you're not alone, Moose. We're fighting along beside you. I know my W just moved out 3 days ago and I want so bad for her to call me and tell me it's the worst decision she's ever made. But then the other side of me reminds myself that maybe we have to go through this time and space to realize what we have and to never broach the topic of separation and D again.
