Albuquerque living part 3:Strapped in for the ride

[Albuquerque]

Brief update,

So my decision to wait before responding was a good one. This morning H called me and we had a nice chat. Didn't mention anything about last night. Then later this morning, I noticed he had made another entry in his blog. Here's a snippet.

Wow, middle of the night thoughts are kind of douchey. Sorry about that. I’ll leave my notes as is, because that’s really what I was thinking at the time. In the more functional light of day, my thoughts are somewhat more sane.

I want this to work. I really do. I want the love and affection and crazy sex. I want to be happy. I want you to be happy. These are things that I want. Selfishly.

So which time was H being honest? Sadly I think the answer is both. This is the MLC confusion. They really DON'T know. They really ARE sure about their decision one minute, then really NOT sure the next. One thing I see as a positive is that I see the H who wrote the second post, more often than I see the first. And the few times where he's felt me moving away (even when I didn't mean to give that impression) he's totally flipped out and been the second H big time. So I think it's worth giving him the benefit of the doubt right now. I DO see him trying to work on himself. The blog alone is a big step towards helping himself understand HIMSELF. And I appreciate the fact that he's been willing to allow me to view his thoughts as they come. I knew I was in for a rollercoaster ride. That's why I named this thread what I did. Just wasn't expecting the hills and valleys to come to quickly so often. *sigh* One day at a time!