I am going to agree with Grit. Where is your story?
I will also be curious to know what sort of "consequences" should be dealt to someone who had an affair?
I mean, we could be the kind of people who tell the world about our spouses infitelities, crap, why don't we just hang every skeleton in their closet out for the world to see...
Would that make us better? Would that make them want to come home to someone who is so bitter and miserable that we try to punish them?
They aren't children, but the also aren't God. They make mistakes just like every other human being on earth...
It is up to us to determine what sort of people WE are in how we choose to handle the hurt, anger, and disappointment that WE feel.
Personally, I don't want to be a bitter, vincidtive, vengful person...
Denver,
Your first post of the thread...
I am glad that you are gaining a perspective on the situation.
One that will hopefully allow you to deal with some of your anger...
The truth is, it appears that they choose the EASY road when they leave. We don't know what went through their minds leading up to that point. We don't know what they feel that they did to make things better. To them, they did try. They did do something. It might not have been what WE would try, it might not be what we eventually learn to do, but I don't think very many of them go off without any sort of thought whatsoever...
I also think you did ok with your wife. Not taking all of the responsibility for your SS's behavior.
My S, isn't always so respectful to me. He has learned to treat me, sometimes, in ways that he saw his father treat me.
My fault in that...is that I let him. I, could have done things differently, like I do now, that would had stopped that behavior from him.
Have a good day Denver.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
