Positively moving forward

[awest1217]

A little upset last night. H texts me to ask about S (his once a week text) and I asked when he was signing the papers. He is signing them Thursday so next week I should be able to sign and hopefully the judge will waive the trial and we will be done by the end of May. So then H asks me when I will be home so the movers can come to get his stuff. MOVERS?!?!?! He has about half a room of stuff left, but movers? He said he needs them for the piano, which is true, and sad because I hate that S won't have a piano to learn on anymore, but oh well. He said the movers said it would cost the same amount to get just the piano or everything.

This is what made me upset because I feel like H is once again getting off easy. It is bad enough the child support payments only give me $12 more than what I pay in day care and that he already is living with OW and that his parents and other family already accept OW as part of the family and S heroizes H, but on top of it, he doesn't have to actually do anything to move the rest of his stuff, and I am inconvinenced by having to wait for the movers so I can let them in and have strangers walk around my house to get stuff. UGH! I am not really as mad as it is sounding, more trying to sound more mad to get all the frustration out. H is the one who moved out and left me, but I am always the one stuck, and I don't know how to not be in this sitch because I am not letting strangers in the house without me. On top of that, there is stuff that isn't boxed yet because I don't have enough boxes and H said he would box it this Friday. Everything is put together, but there is still a bunch to box so I am supposed to wait again while H boxes stuff? It just annoys me because I only get 36 hours every other week alone to do stuff for me, which usually ends up being stuff for the house like grocery shopping (so much easier without S), trimming the bushes (once again easier because I don't have to worry about S getting hurt because he is trying to help), cleaning the house (a regular weekend thing), etc and now I have to give up more time to wait on H and his movers? I would rather he did it on a weekend where I have S and while his nap time because then I am stuck at home anyway and this way he can come to direct the movers, but he said it depends on when the movers are available.

I think I might take all teh stuff and put it on teh front porch when the day comes so the movers only have to come in the house to get the piano. After that, they can just the rest of H's junk off the front porch and I don't have to worry about them being in the house and if I want, I could leave and do whatever because they would only be on the porch with the rest of the house locked up.

Once again not too mad, but it still floors me on how H can still shrug off doing things. Yes, I understand he has to pay the movers, but ultimately he is doing nothing. He is living in a two person income household with OW, living the high life and he can afford it so once again not a huge hurt to him or even anything to make him think about what he is doing. He is just being as always trying to leave without having to feel. Like leaving every night after S was in bed to go with OW so he didn't have to see him upset or leaving when we were gone and just texting me that he wasn't coming back. Once again he doesn't have to admit to what he has done.

OK I think I have vented enough. Now to focus on teh good things. 3 weeks and 2 days left of school. Then a week off and 5 days of a class to renew my license and it is summer break. Fun things lined up like going to the beach and finishing reorganizing my house without H's stuff in it. Maybe a few dates (nothing serious, but after over 2 years of being separated and over a year of us not even trying I think it is time). All is good