My sons prayer.....

[RedNailPolish]

I was so confused today. I felt I had conflicting advises from forums to books, etc etc

but thankfully GOD showed me the truth.

Here's how:

Tonight S and I were meant to go out with H. Normally we go out to play aqua golf. Tonight H asked us to go to dinner instead. So I said yes. As soon as I got in his car OW called - her name showed up on his car radio. H hung up. Then she called again. H hung up again. I was pretty annoyed. Then as soon as we got to the restaurant he started texting her. He was trying to hide it but not well. I said to H can u do me a favour and not text or phone in front of me. H understand what I meant by this and said yes.

But it was from that moment on that I realized what was going on. GOD showed me what was before me. A man that was disrespecting me and S. What was I doing? I don't deserve this kind of treatment. I put this man through two universities. I paid for his accomodation, bought him a car, worked two jobs so that we could go on holiday. Loved him unconditionally even when I felt he didn't love me. And this is how he treats me! He!! no!

No way would GOD want this for me. No way would I sit there any longer and say nothing.

I didn't get mad, if that's what you're thinking. I instead dropped the rope. I set my boundaries.

I told H not to text or phone in front of me. I told H that he needed to stick to a schedule of when he wanted to see S. I wanted to know what day/s he was coming. And if he couldn't make it then we wouldn't postpone it to another day, he would have to wait till the next week. H had previously wanted to see S twice during the week and have him sleep over once during the weekend. But it has always been on his terms. He got to choose the days and times. He was always late or cancelled. No more I said! I said I didn't care how often he wanted to see S. But be consistent and commited. I am not going to raise S hopes up only for them to be let down.

H had excuses like - o but I am playing squash or I need to go to the gym. These were his excuses not to see S. WTF! Where are ur priorities? Obviously not with ur child. And thats why I said the things I said. Don't care what u commit to but whatever it is, stick to it cos the consequences are that u miss spending time with S.

The whole night I was very business like. I wasn't cold. I was friendly. I even asked about his job hunting and was genuinely interested. But I set boundaries tonight. H knew by my tone and demeanor than something had changed. I felt in control the whole time. I chose the topics. I listened to what he said and was genuinely interested. But I wanted him to know that I had a few things to say and I wasn't going to be pushed around.

I said we needed to go cos S was playing up. Ended up having a tantrum. So I got up and started walking out with S. S kept saying I don't want my dad. The whole ride home (only 5 mind mind u) I don't want my dad. I didn't try to shut him up. I'd said what I needed to say.

I got out of the car and asked S to give his dad a kiss. S said no. I said OK. Then said bye to H. I saw that he was upset. He looked like he was going to cry. I wasn't going to console him this time. Old me would have. Old me would have forced S to give dad a kiss but not now. I won't interfere with their relationship. If S is angry at his dad then so be it. That is part of the consequences of Hs actions.

I got S ready for bed. Didn't take long for him to fall asleep. Then I received a text from H. It read: sorry about tonight! It was a complete disaster.

I didn't reply. Not going to. I've let go. No more games. Concentrate on me and S from now on. Oh and also all those that love me - family and friends. They matter and they deserve my time and energy. Not someone who cheats on me and isn't even sorry he did it or continues to do.

I prayed tonite to GOD and thanked him for showing me the light. I'm not married to the man I love any longer. That man doesn't exist anymore. Elvis has left the building! I don't love the man I saw tonight. I don't know him. I don't want to - he's a real jerk! This is who OW is getting - the jerk. Good luck to both of them.

If H does ever find that man I married - I'd like to speak to him. I'd like to ask him where he's been and why he left? I'm not shutting the door on that man but I am to the jerk I saw tonight!

Feel a great sense of relief. Like a weight has been lifted.