. I love her and know that she has only done this out of a broken place. I have forgiven her completely and hope that she gets the strength to end the affair soon. She has said that she doesn't want a divorce as she feels that there is still hope and hasn't written off the marriage. She is just very scared that I will go back to my old ways. So far I have got the best reaction out of her by being loving, caring and understanding.
18 months isn't very long to have to deal with that kind of stuff -- I hope you get some counselling and help for yourself, not for her. She may stay, or go. But you'll be with you forever.
In my faith, repentence requires: - Desire to stop (not a guarantee, but genuine) - "Returning/Repaying" what is owed (apologies, undoing harm, erasing contacts as needed) - Asking God for forgiveness.
It isn't the result, but the journey that makes us better. Very sadly, my 5 kids are going to be 2 home kids for sure. The year of struggle against the things that made my marriage toxic and led to the unpretty end left me a better person. I'm still struggling - but it was worth it.
If your wife does come back to you, it will be because she is accepting you as you are and liking that guy. She isn't filling a void to keep her company until you come back, IMO. Discussing what's she's done won't help you learn from your choices. Being the guy you want to be, secure enough you don't need an old girlfriend, would be a good step.
