wife having affair - please help

[facingdivorce]

Major Goal - reconcilliation of marriage and start again, the time frame would be 12 - 24 months realistically

Step goals

1. We speak on the phone about the kids once a week for 20 minutes with no r talk or tension. 3 months

2. We can have coffee together at a neutral location for an hour with no r talk. 5 months

3 wife proactively calls me and interacts spontaneously - 6 months

4 we have neutral family lunch / dinner with kids at restaurant
- 8 months

5. Wife stops any d activity ( lawyers, accountants etc )
- 8 months.

6. She recognises some positive things about me and our marriage together and tells me so - 12 months

7 She stops the affair - now, ok asap then

We discuss going to MC together - 12 months

The thing is I imposed no contact with her last week. It was after the trip where she and the om took my children on a holiday and she had said it was a work trip...I feel I was justified in doing that as it was a major breach of my boundaries and honesty involving our children and it was blantantly in my face. I think she would have lost all respect for me if I hadnt done something.I dont think she has much respect for me now to be honest.

When I emailed her about it, I said she would always be part of the family and we would always support her, but her activities didnt co exist with my boundaries , so i had to stop communication and get on with my new life/ I closed with saying we care about her and her wellbeing. It was written as if from a concerned friend but with a ramification.