wife having affair - please help

[facingdivorce]

Re the OM exposing him
He is a ceo and much of his ego is attached to his job. He has only had the job since August 2010, but it is very well paying, lots of benefits and stock options. Most guys like that are arrogant and self entitled, nature of the beast. So I hear people talk about the affair fog and that addiction to be cured you need to seperate pleasure from the process.

Thing was this guy comes to my home, we have a nice beach house, drinks my wine, sits in my chair overlooking the pool, looks at my wife and kids and dog and nice cars and goes, Arent I the clever boy, I didnt have to pay for any of this and I get to have her as well.

So the option of exposing the affair for him, was to hit him where it hurts - at his work. There are substantial grounds for termination ( stds of business conduct breach, travel / expense claim issues, and using company time and resources to conduct the affair and communications breaches, such as email, sms) He knows that. So what I want to him to think is , is this affair that I am having is it worth my big fat job that stokes my big fat ego? I dont want it to be easy or fun for him anymore. I want them both to start questioning it.

Why am I doing that, I think ( I could be wrong ) it will help burn the affair fog away. It not just about retaurants, business travel , hotels etc There a downside to all of this.

So I have tried to effectively split the affair away from my wife. As in I dont hate you, but I hate the affair and I will defend my family. The notion being it is not a personal attack on my wife, but defending my family.

However after taking into the sage advice of 25,I am not going to progress this further with the exposing ( I want him to squeal, but that is purely for revenge - so I will just think it and not do it - sigh ) Also guys like that will throw my wife under the bus at work in order to protect their jobs, they tend not to be very compassionate but rather mercinary.