Who am I now?

[irishblessings]

I have been quietly struggling with this new circumstance that has become my life. I am a divorced mother of 3. I can't seem to wrap my head around this situation. Where do I go from here? I know the answer is - anywhere I want to go - but it doesn't feel quite right yet. My relationships outside of that with my XH have never been stronger. I feel as though I am paying more attention to others = a trait I lost while living with XH's behaviors. But where I am struggling the most is trying to define what I want. I still engage in avoidance. I let myself down by not accomplishing enough - I don't push myself enough - I too easily avoid discomfort.
How do I decide what it is I want?