Journal entry: weekend I agree with the teenager remark, my ic had dawned on that earlier, and he even suggested I do what parents need to do and set boundaries. It wasn't until I found my inner strength with NMMNG that I actually started setting them. Not just that but I have also realized that as a teenager some life lessons she will just have to learn on her own. Hopefully things won't get ruined because of it.
So the weekend was kind of a mixed bag. As stated before we were going to my sister's graduation. My family was visiting, and her family live in the same city. We got a room for the both of us. On friday we drove down in two cars for the six hour ride (I'll explain why soon). The ride went well. That evening when we got to the hotel she seemed a little annoyed, I knew it was the long ride, so I left her alone. After about 30 minutes she started reaching out to me, and making conversation and showing me things on her phone. I paid attention to her, and we started joking around, next thing I know we were full on play wrestling on one of the beds. It was a lot of fun, and it was nice to hold her that close. (Even if it was a gentle bear hug). It was getting late, and my parents arrived in town, and called me. I was going to go say hi, at their hotel. She playfully said you sure you want to go? At this time I was holding her down from behind with my arms wrapped around hers and my legs coiled around her. I just said no not yet, and held her down for a few more minutes. (where I was holding her down, it felt more like we were holding each other. I also think she liked being held down, by that big tough guy she forgot I am). I left to see my parents, spent a few minutes with them, came back, then left again to get some basics from walmart. That was friday....it was really nice.
Saturday morning was very nice too, got up, got ready, went to starbucks and brought her coffee. She was very grateful. She seemed very happy, and very loving. We ate the snowballs I bought last night. (We have lately been on a snowball snack cake kick). I got ready and we parted ways, she would see her friends and family, I would go see mine.
There was very little contact that day. I saw it as a plus, we both had problems constantly checking up on each other in the past, so this was a good 180 on both our parts. Around 5 she let me know that she was going to the other side of the border and would be spending the night at her cousin's house. Now before I get all the comments implying that something happened here is what I have to say. I know her male cousin well, when this all started he was one of the only people that contacted me from her side of her family. He told me that to this day he regretted his own D and fully supported us getting back together. He also promised me that he would always protect her, and make sure that no funny business happened. Needless to say I feel comfortable letting her hang out with him. Secondly spending the night on the other side in a relative's house is WAY safer than trying to cross the border at 2 in the morning. Too many bad things happening over there at that time. The only problem of course is that her being on the other side, reception is bad so we were dark for a while.
As you can expect though I was worried most of the night and didn't sleep well. The next morning I woke up and started getting ready for mother's day brunch. She still hadn't arrived from the other side yet, and I was very concerned. Also check out was at noon, and I had to be with my parents by 11. I was worried about her not making it back in time for checkout. (Well worried, and mad). Well she didn't make it back till 11:30 on sunday morning. (She said something about a 2 hour wait time at the bridge, ok believable). I replied with short texts, that were more logistical than anything. About 30 mins before checkout I got a text telling me that she needed help getting the stuff to the car. I asked her why, she said she wasn't in shape for it. (IE too hung over, and sick from last night). I said I couldn't leave my mom on mother's day.
She then sent me a series of UGLY text messages. Saying I HAD to go help her, with a couple of nasty adjectives. I excused myself and gave her a quick call. She answered, and she could instantly tell my tone was not happy. She asked if I was ok, then I told her I did not appreciate what she wrote in the texts, and to never do that again. She quickly apologized and tried to say that she thought I wanted an easy out (to get away from my parents), and thought that those ugly messages would help. I told her that yes I had asked earlier to help me come out with an excuse in case things dragged on too long with my parents. (My parents have made me miss plane flights in the past because they hang on soo much, so it's not as inconsiderate as it sounds). I made a point of telling her though, that her demanding I leave, made me sound whipped and I was not going to do that. I emphasized that I was not leaving mother's day brunch, until it was over. After some discussion she told me it would be ok, and would somehow manage.
She later asked what she should do while waiting for me, I suggested she go to a store and hang out, that it wasn't going to be long. She said she was in no shape to do that, but would figure it out. A few minutes later she told me she was hanging out with a friend. I said no prob time to be with my family. We set up a time to meet.
I said good bye to my family,(won't be seeing them for a very long time). Then headed to the agreed spot. When I arrived on time, she called to tell me she would be 45 mins late because she was on the other side of town. (I thought to myself, sureeee.....) I figure she wanted to make me wait, like I did to her. Well rather than get mad, I went and hung out at a local game store . When she got to the meeting spot, she called to ask where I was. I told her, oh I didn't want to wait in the car so I went to a local store to hang out. I'll be there in 5 mins.
Well we met up, and I left my car behind. Since we are moving, I dropped my car at my sister's, and we drove back in her car. (Thus the two cars in the first place). When I saw her, she looked very tired, and was even limping. This made me kinda mad, since it made me wonder how "wild" last night was. All I could tell myself was "trust her cousin, trust her cousin". I asked how the night had gone, she said she didn't want to talk about it. As you can imagine this made me more mad. I tried not to make a big deal, and see how long it took for her to say something. About 30 mins into the ride back she told me, a close friend they grew up with tried to "feel her up". I could tell by her reaction that her awkwardness was not from guilt, but from feeling violated.
I asked what had happened, she told me she couldn't help but vomiting, and that he helped her lean over. While doing this she got some on her shirt, and he said he was going to help, reached under her shirt, unhooked her bra, and started reaching towards the front. She said she instantly recoiled, before he could touch her, and kept telling him, that his help was not needed. She told me she was so freaked out, she almost screamed out for her cousin. Her two other female cousins helped her change in private. At this moment she could tell I was NOT happy. She asked what I was thinking I told her the truth. "If I would have been there I would have punched him the face, until he passed out"
I expected all sorts of crazy things to come from her. I expected her to say that I over protect her, or that she didn't need me protecting her, or even that I shouldnt get jealous and that she could do what she wanted. Bottomline I thought she was going to get real defensive over my feelings of protection.
Instead she just got quiet, and nodded in agreement. She then asked what she should do. I told her: Well we now know that this guy is untrustworthy when drunk, if I were you I'd never hang out with him again. She quietly agreed. Then I told her. "He is lucky he was drunk had he been sober, I'd be turning this car around to beat him black and blue" Her only response was: "I know you would"
As angry as the incident made me, I can see the silver lining. It was nice to be her knight in shining armor again, I think it was also a good reminder of how quickly crazy partying can go downhill. She was lucky to be around family that cared about her and would protect her. Even then a jerk, almost got his way.
After she got that out of her chest, she instantly started feeling better. She spend the rest of the car ride, trying to be cute and trying to get me not to be angry. The amount of positive attention she payed to me was nice.
Oh on a side note I casually lifted my sleeve past my shoulder, to scratch my deltoid. She quickly leaned in and gave my tricep a little lick. (I have swimmer's arms, not big but toned). I gave her a quick smile and tried not to make a big deal. She quickly asked in a cute voice "did you not appreciate that?" I told her "yes I did, I appreciated it a lot". The rest of the ride was very nice, when we got home we sat on the couch watching a little tv, she leaned her legs on mine, and curled up with me on the couch. Very nice....
Today too has gone very well, I got myself coffee and got her some too.
Unless I am totally dilusional I see this weekend as a plus. I stood up for myself, and while she had a bad experience hopefully it made me her appreciate me a little more. I hate that bad things like this have to happen, but sometimes it may be what is needed.
Going back to the whole teen thing, yes boundaries are needed, but somethings your teen just needs to learn on their own... I hope this is as bad as it gets.
25yrs, young at heart, I know you guys had some questions. I'll get to them soon. Making these mini novels can be quite draining as it is.
. When she got to the meeting spot, she called to ask where I was. I told her, oh I didn't want to wait in the car so I went to a local store to hang out. I'll be there in 5 mins. 
