Again, please, please get individual counseling. It will truly help you own up to your path to your affair and the irrevocable attitude your wife might have to your marriage.
I mean this in the nicest way possible, but when you say " I just hope the things she said was out of anger." you are being a weasel because it immediately absolves you from your affair as just a crime of passion. If she can't control her words in this moment, you are just enforcing the idea that your fling was just emotions getting carried away.
You are dismissing her feelings. Why don't you acknowledge you wife might be angry, hurt, betrayed, and hurt by your behaviour? Do you really want to wake up tomorrow and have her say, oh wow, you must have been so lonelllllllly ChrisW. I know how much you suffered when you made love to that other woman. You must have been miserable. I'm so lucky to have to take painful bloodtests for the next year and take the kids for tests too, but you were so happy in that affair....jolly for you, old chap!
Really?
If the thought of being her ex scared you to death - let's be honest - you didn't care you that you would be her ex. You were scared it wouldn't be on YOUR terms.
This is a great site, and a lot of good advice. Mine is only one opinions. Weigh all of your options or expectations, but at the end of the day, it will be ultimately up to you and her.
