Digging Through Old Email

[AntoniaB]

I don't think bringing up the relationship ever does any good when they're in this place. They are doing everything they can to sever the relationship--I think the only exception to that is that they do seem to like to keep us as a friend if possible--that's called "cake-eating" and it is demoralizing and seems to never work in our favor. I think FAR, FAR down the road, sometimes people can rebuild the friendship (Goodattitudegirl is doing this last I checked) but that only began years after the initial breakup.

I just now found a letter I wrote to XH when I gave him a photo album in early December and I hate to say it, but now that I"m much more objective, I could see that I was pursuing him in a very indirect way even then, and that was 6 months post-bomb. Now I'm embarrassed for myself that I was still trying to get his attention when he was so far gone.

If she has any interest in trying to reconcile, you'll know it. If you have to bring up the relationship, you know that her interest just isn't there. It's sad but it's just the way it is.

Good luck with the job search. I think once you start getting some personal accomplishments without her in your life that will work wonders in terms of helping you detach.