OM??? Sigh. That bites. Whatever you do, don’t let that derail you. It’s not even a reflection on you, but more on her state of mind. As a WAW, I’d rather gut it out alone than invite another person into my life to share all of this angst, but that’s me. I can see how others might not. Others here on the site can talk to you about how to get zen about it, if that’s possible. I don’t have any experience with PA or EA. Calystra or MAL (who’s not on often anymore) are two people I know who have some insights into this, and may be able to help. You might try posting to their thread to ask them to stop by yours.
You were talking about how fast she’s moving and it resonated with me, because I remember when my H left me eight years ago. He wasn’t out of the house 24-hours and he was looking at apartments and calling attorneys. It was a few weeks later that he told me he wanted a D, like didn’t know that already. I can’t predict what your W will do, but in my H’s case he moved at light speed to separate himself from me and get started on the D, then he started slowing down until he ultimately decided he wanted to reconcile. Like I said, I don’t know if your sitch is remotely similar to mine, but it’s not necessarily the end.
Sorry, I’m short on suggestions other than to focus on yourself and start making your own DB plan. Take care of yourself. --z
