Can I close the door and leave it unlocked?

[islander]

Here is the link to my last thread:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2152490&page=1

I will post tomorrow. I had a pretty decent night bc I decided not to sit in my house and wallow in self pity all night. Hope everybody is doing ok and I will catch up tomorrow.

[islander]

I went to church yesterday morning with my inlaws. During the service, the pastor talked about the qualities of our great mothers. I just kelt wondering what happened to my W, bc she is far from the mother and woman that she was. It seemed as if she was the complete opposite of what the pastor was talking about.

When I got home, I decided to primer over what I had painted and start over. It was a good choice bc I would have hated the color I first chose. Then I was smart, and got a couple color samples and painted them on the wall. That would have saved me so much time in the first place, I could have spent it obsessing on my sitch!!

Then my inlaws called and invited me over for dinner and I joined them. We played a couple games, ate dinner, and I went home shortly after. At one point, I asked FIL if my MIL minded me being there (bc my W and SD weren't there). He said no, and it was my MIL idea to invite me, that he wasn't going to suggest that on mothers day if she did not bring it up. I told him I almost didnt come over, but then figured if they didn't want me there, they wouldn't have asked. He said I was right.

After I got home, my neighbor stopped by for a beer and hung out for a little bit. Then my other neighbor and her D also came over for a little bit. It was nice talking to people that I really never spent much time with bf the bomb. I am grateful I have good neighbors, it helps.

And that was the end of my day. No contact to or from W. No mention of her at my inlaws either.

[ninelives]

Nice title Islander. And yes, I suppose we are tied to the hip in many ways in our sitches. Maybe because we are both islanders. You know I live on an island in Ontario.

Sounds like you had a decent day despite that gaping hole in your heart. It is manageable but it never seems to go away does it.

Keep trying to put your best foot forward despite that gnawing feeling. Maybe someday it will be replaced. Some people have told me that it takes somebody special to replace that feeling.

I cant imagine it right now but at the risk of sounding like a broken record. Time heals. It has to man, It just has to and we have to be open to that healing.

Keep at it buddy. Close that door but dont lock it just yet.

9

[Redo]

That was a really nice sunday you had there Islander. It is really good that your in-laws are still in touch with you. I am not sure if it helps, but it does not hurt to have someone from your wife's family still keeping in touch with you.

[jbnati]

It's good you are keeping in touch with the IL and they want to keep in touch with you. That says a lot right there. Glad the painting did something to take your mind off your sitch.

Sounds like you had a decent day despite that gaping hole in your heart. It is manageable but it never seems to go away does it.

I know this feeling exactly.

Hang in there, man.

[islander]

Yeah 9, despite that hole in my heart, I had an alright day. And I am sure time will heal my pain, but I am also praying that my W will have an awakening while I am healing.

I the mean time, I will try to stay busier than I have before. I used to like some of my days to be relaxing around the house, now that is simething I dread. Complete lifestyle change.


My Karma,
It does help being close to my inlaws. We are actually neighbors. They built a house next to us about 4 months bf the bomb so they could help us out with the girls. I have always had a good relationship with them, and that hasn't changed. They help me out with my D tremendously, and I couldn't do it without them right now. I don't know what the future holds, but I am not taking anything for granted

I don't have any other family near me, the closest being 6 hours away.

[ninelives]

B4 her parents died , they actually moved like 6 houses down from us and her sister lives 4.

My family is also 6 hours away.

I stayed on the island for HER. I had a job interview in my hometown and we were all set to move but I stayed in this somewhat isolated ISLAND for HER! And It was ok as long as we were together but NOW. I REGRET leaving so much.

I love southern ontario but have difficulty living in the North, just not my lifestyle.

Sorry, Islander, im venting on your thread.

9

[ninelives]

regret NOT LEAVING

9

[islander]

No problem 9. Sometimes I can't tell the difference bw commenting on somebody elses sitch and venting, to be honest.

Unlike you, I did not move here for my W, but I may not have stayed if I didn't meet her. But that is moot now. Can't go back, and now I don't really see myself moving anywhere else.

[GAL Man]

Hi islander, its great you still have a good relationship with the MIL/FIL and that you didn't even talk about your W. I hope to be in that position sometime, its just good that they still want to keep in touch and that I am welcome anytime.

If you get a chance could you please have a look at my sitch