Aside from the danger aspect, is there anything your H could have done to make it better.
In my case, there was about a 2 month period after I found out where I started to waffle and think about it, and looking back, maybe it was shell shock, maybe it was frustration that the whole thing could have been avoided, and a lot of deep, deep looking inward. Just as it takes to people to make a marriage, it takes two people to break a marriage, and I went to individual counseling to make peace with all that happened.
But - to be honest - it was a dealbreaker. There was literally nothing my husband could have done to lead to us getting back together. If you look at my earlier posts, you can read more about my situation.
I think everyone has a line in the sand. Some people see infidelity as a terrible tragedy, and I know lots of couples who gave it another go after an affair. And some couples became stronger and some didn't. I think I came to a point where when I was absolutely brutally honest with myself, I could not live with or love a man who was inside another woman and climaxed in her while we were married.
I don't think there's a right or wrong answer, but remember this is specific to me and my situation. Not necessarily related to yours.
In fact- actually - here is a tip: don't compare your situation to other people. It's natural to want to hear advice for others and I came to this site on the rec of a therapist. I still follow some stories & posters.
But my ex wanted to use other people's lives as a map to solve our problems. He'd try to argue that Bill & Linda got married and struggled and are happier than ever. Or he'd say that the kids would never get over having two places to live, like some relatives. He so desperately wanted to show that it COULD be done, that it was more sad than anything.
This situation was ours alone, and after all the drama, there was no other story it could compare to.
It felt right to marry him, and I don't regret that, and it felt right to leave him, and I don't regret that.
