During the week when H comes over to pick up S, we all end up going somewhere to do a fun activity, eg aqua golf. These outings have always been enjoyable and its almost like we are a normal family. Do i continue with these activities or do I just stop going and let S go alone with H?
Red,
This is something you'll have to figure out for yourself. Speaking for myself, H ended up starting a tradition of sushi after my D's martial arts class. HE invited me to go. The first time I was in charge of D, I wavered whether to invite him since that could be seen as pursuing, but opted to do so because it had become tradition. And he willingly accepted. It often became the only time a week I would talk with H. I think it was a good thing for us but it is difficult to do without the proper amount of "center" and ability to detach. Because I would see him texting OW, or see emails from her as he'd flip through his phone. Our conversations were superficial since he'd never really ask much about me and I chose to not tell him anything other than stuff he needed to know about finances, D etc. But we still had a good time and I know D got a lot out of those dinners. But there were certainly many times where it took a lot of patience to not fly off the handle with the ridiculous MLC things he'd say and do. And you can make no assumptions about the time you spend together. You need to become a duck and allow those types of things to just roll off you. If you think you can do it, great. Just realize it's more like work and less like fun most of the time.
"Love me when I least deserve it, for that is when I need it the most"
M18 Me39,H42 D16 Bomb 1/10 Moved out 3/10 OW 6/10 H wants to R,OW gone 11/10 H moves back 5/11 H wants to wear rings again 9/11
