18 Wheels and a Dozen Roses

[OnMyWay]

Hmmm (there it is again, LOL), let me think on this some.

First, I'll definitely say letting him know you believe this is a mistake is good. I bet he had a lot to think about on his train ride.

Also, if he's coming over and participating, you could be right about the laundry/dinner thing. It's one thing to have him there reintegrating/building a connection, but another thing entirely to use you as a doormat. Don't make his chosen life easy.

However, I'm just not sure of your motivations. If you want to rebuild your M, moving away may not get you to that goal. If he's anything like I suspect, he'll just sulk and give up. You'll have to be prepared to loose him. It almost seems as if you are hoping he'll chase you. If you must move for financial considerations, etc., then fine - you gotta do whatcha gotta do. But make sure you aren't moving out of spite, to punish him, or to try to get him to pursue. I think that would be a mistake.

Forget the email. He didn't respond before, he obviously doesn't want to. Stop trying to force him. It is fair to ask where he is on the M topic and make some sort of decision, although I'd suggest not doing that. Has he made any progress on himself? Is he still with the OW? Does he want to come back? You need to know where he is at, but know he probably changes his mind all the time, so that may not be relevant. Like in my last post, I was told my W wants to fix this, but has absolutely no idea of how to do it. Your H could be the same and he may be trying things out his own way, I dunno.

A fine line for sure. Is moving forward with your life while maintaining a cordial relationship what you want? If so, sounds like a plan. If not, I think this is what you'll be settling for. AJM80, you seem like a very realistic individual. However, you are dealing with someone who is the exact opposite right now. Putting practical pressure on the sitch will not yield practical results. A good 180 for you may be to be completely unreasonable or at least totally unpredictable. Still avoid the emotional, clingy, controlling, etc., but try shaking things up a bit first before you go all out and pull the plug/move.