I'm so sorry your hurting, but you've come to the right place.
Your H is in a fog right now, thinking that this new W and R are the pieces that have been missing in his life. Don't we all feel butterflies and that giddy feeling in the beginning of a relationship? The question is, what happens once that feeling fades? Then what?
You have to decide for yourself what you will and will not put up with, and set some boundaries for yourself.
In the mean time, read the books, work on your 180's and GAL for yourself. Maybe counseling also, if you think it will help you. I've been in C for about 4 months and it's made all the difference in the world.
Just keep posting, and we'll be here for you.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤