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KEE Offline OP
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H left me as I was burying my mother. He has left me 4 times already. I am moving on, letting go, and planning on going home. Today has been really hard because its Mothers Day and I lost her March 12th.
H showed up with flowers ringing my doorbell. He was talking his usual MLC talk, angry and cynical at the world. I just kept saying that I was sorry he felt that way. He left saying he would always love me. How do I remain sane with this madness? I know he needs to hit bottom to come out of this tunnel and sometimes I think that he never will. I am tired, I am weary. I will and can survive without him. Any advise?
Kee

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Kee,

Take the flowers as a gesture that he is grateful for the kids. Nothing else.

I have received Mother's Day "gifts" every year since H left. They are just his way of acknowledging I am his D's mother.

The I will always love you comments you need to take in the spirit in which they are given and that is not romantic in any way.

I'm sorry about the loss of your Mother. It's hard under any circumstances and with this on your plate too, well, my heart goes out to you.

I lost my Mom a few years ago and my brother last year.Sux.

I know how tired you are. What are you doing to take care of you?

HUGS

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Yeah my H. Got me flowers too. Even signed his name on the card. Weird.


BITS
Me-51, WAS-52
Kids 2
M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013
Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice.
Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
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KEE Offline OP
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The problem is that we DO NOT have kids together. He said to me today that he told me it was over 4 years ago. I asked why he brought me flowers and he said because its mothers day. I AM NOT his mother. I am taking care of myself by going home this summer to be with family. I already have a ticket. I really cannot wait. Grace_0 Sorry about your loss as well.
Thanks for responses!
Kee

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Kee,
Our Situations sound extremely similar. My H also always says to me that he will always love me, even though he has left me and come back 3 times in the past 4 years. He is out drinking his life away currently.
I got a text last night at 2 am from him saying "I really hope we can be friends in time"- (he just left me again a week ago). I think its his guilt.
I am exhausted, I am growing weary just like you. We also have no kids. But I hate taking this MLC ride.
At first, I put ALL my efforts into DBing and it seemed to work, only to have him leave again and again, I just dont know how much more I can take.
I think it is a good choice of yours to go be with your family, I dont know what I would do right now with out the comfort of mine. Hopefully, it will help you feel relieved and loved and give you some space from your H. Good Luck!
TIPPER

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Tipper,
Like you I put all of my efforts into DBing and he did come back for four years but he was miserable very soon because he never resolved why he left. I have been on the MLC ride for much to long and I look at him now with pity. His family has even took my side when he ran while I was burying my mother. My h has ran from every relationship. He is 52 and needs to grow up. I think he is bi-polar as well. Family wants me home and I will look for a job while I am there. Thanks for sharing your story. I am not happy to be here but it helps to talk
Kee


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