WAW Please Help Me.

[pleaseexplain]

After a back and forth series of conversations my W agreed to meet to discuss mediation. She had been 100% against this in the past. We met at a nearby coffee shop. She brought her briefcase, paper and pen. I did not have anything. Actually, I thought this was funny and told her. We both laughed about it. We went on to talk about how various assests would be split. We have a lot of stuff. It was tense at times. She at one time pointed to the paper and said "this is our life." Meaning the various assets. I had to bite my tongue. I wanted to say: Those are assets, they don't mean s___t. Our life is what you are walking away from. I did not say it.

I took the opportunity to state that I was okay. She always asks about how I am doing. She knows that I was rocked by her decision in the beginning. I kept saying that I was fine. I would accept any outcome. I said that I was willing to do whatever needed to get done. I said that I was at peace emotionally and felt better than I had in the last four months. She stated that she wanted me to be happy and to have someone who was there for me 100% She said that emotionally that she was still in a difficult place.

At the end we had pretty much divided all the assets. I took the opportunity to just agree and to get up and leave first. A DB technique. I would have never done that before. It just so happened that I got a phone call just at that time. I could tell that she was trying to see who it was. I just left.

The next morning(Mother's Day) she called me twice, I did not answer. She did not leave a voice mail. She called a third time and I answered. She had her number blocked. She said that it happened when she was trying to take video with her phone when she was messing around with the settings.
(whatever!). She said that the meeting yesterday really bothered her. She said she wanted us to be friends. She wanted us to be able to be in the same room and to be able to interact. Later we met at our daughter's soccer game. We sat on a blanket and shared some pastry and coffee. She again started with the get along conversation. I said great! Let's do that. I said that we all make choices and that we could chose to do that. Somehow the conversation went to the divorce/reconcilation topic. She for the first time EVER said that she was in a different place. That she was open to it. It= reconcilation. She did not use the word "reconciliation" but that indicated that she was "open" to it.

I had given her the DB book early on. I stumbled upon the book in a bookstore. I did not know of the website at the time. I asked her to read chapters 1 and 5. She never did. I asked for the book back. She asked if she could read it before she returned it. She said that before she was in a place where she did not want to accept anyone(Me) telling her what to do (my controlling behavior). She stated that she is now in a different place and was interested in reading the book. She will not have the kids this week. The willingness to discuss mediation, saying that she was "open" to it (reconcliation) and her willness to read DB chapters are definately changes in her attitude.

On a final note: Her best friend became the topic of our conversation. I told her that this friend's husband (who is my best friend) was only guy friend of mine who had reached out to contact me. When we met this guy dropped a bomb on me. He indicated that his wife (my wife's best friend) had an affair. I did not ask about the details. He did say that the only reason that he was still married to his wife was because of counseling.

In the past when I mentioned counseling. My W would go balistic. When it came up today she seemed truly interested. She asked questions about their counseling, which of course I could not answer. However, it seemed that because I was not the one suggesting it or promoting it, it did not seem offensive to her. Because she sees me as "controlling" suggesting counseling is probably "controlling behavior" as she sees it and she recoils.

I have no idea where this ship is headed.