18 Wheels and a Dozen Roses

[AJM80]

H came today, brought a card and had the kids sign it/scribble. It was a cute one and clear he had thought about which card in store. Took my necklace to get repaired, as requested. Went with us to the store, then watched D's swim class, then stayed with napping kids while I did some errands. Would have been nice if he had folded laundry or done some dishes from lunch w/kids instead of napping/watching golf while I was gone, but I still appreciated his help today and let him know that.

I was touched by the card.

My sister said last night that before she comes to visit me in a few weeks, she needs to talk to her kids about what is going on at my house. I let H know it would be soon and he said he had also had that on his mind. It's a sad thing, when you have to tell the children, even nephews/nieces.

So, with those 2 things in mind, I said to him, I think we're making a mistake. And I left it at that. He was leaving soon and I wasn't looking for some big discussion. He started to question me, but realized he had a train to catch.

I'm really torn lately, but I think my path forward is going to be relocating. He's having his cake and eating it too, and enough is enough. I don't mind him doing his laundry here or us sharing meals, but this is not a forever scenario where I quietly keep house and he drops in a few times a week. But there's no reason to go into all that with him/discuss it. I did need to share that I think this is the wrong direction, for us & the kids, to walk away from a marriage. That I still think that.

I kind of want to start packing the house and move on to the next level. I think I am going to give things a week or two, then let him know I'd like a response to my email (if he choses to do so) when I get back from vacation w/the kids in early June. Start the clock, so to speak, 180 away from being pretty chill about everything, BUT not get emotional, clingy, controlling, etc. A fine line, right? Moving forward with my life, but maintaining a cordial relationship.