Digging Through Old Email

[tadpole1025]

Thanks everyone. Today has been a little rough after feeling so good yesterday. I went and bowled a few games today because I had a coupon for some free games. I didn't do very well, but it was nice to get out of the house.

S18's girlfriend's family wants to take us shopping for groceries this evening. (Yes, we are that broke.) I don't want to do it. I hate being a charity case. I've provided for my family all of my life and now I have a hard time just getting out of bed in the morning. They turned my water off last Thursday. My mom had to pay the bill to get it back on.

I feel so weak.

On Easter, I sent my W a text wishing her a good day. I never heard back from her. Today, for Mother's Day, I sent a text and actually heard back from her.

M: I hope you have a happy Mother's Day.

W: Thank you. I am. You have a wonderful day too! See you later around 8?

M: Yeah.

God, I just wish that she would snap out of it. I wish she could see that our marriage wasn't as bad as she sees it now. What the hell happened?

I don't know where I would be without all of the wonderful people on this board and my sons. S18 has literally saved my life. He is such a good kid, but it hurts that he will have nothing to do with his mother. Even though I really don't blame him. I talked to him today and asked if he has talked to his mother for Mother's Day. He hasn't and I don't think he is going to. I wish he would, but I can't do anything about it. This is so sad.

It kills me that she is seeing OM. The "real" W would never have done anything like this.

In Arizona, there is no waiting period to get a D. She still has not filed. What is she waiting for? She told me that she wanted a D four months ago. I've thought about filing, but to be honest, I still want our marriage to work and I don't want to give her the victory.

I really felt like I was making great strides the last few days and then BAM. Today I'm back to being in the sh!t. Does that happen to others?

I just had to vent.

Thanks for everything.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mommies.

Tad