Plans changed a little bit this afternoon, SIL's son had a soccer game, so the party got pushed back. W called to let me know and asked me to take a look for a children's book that she wanted to give to her niece. Couldn't find it in our bookcases so I went out to check some boxes we have stored in the garage...bad idea.
Opened one box and found a bunch of pictures...including from our wedding. We actually had a surprise wedding. We had planned to elope in Hawaii originally, but felt bad and decided to turn our going away/wedding party into an actual wedding. No professional photographer since it would've given things away, so we had cameras on the tables for all our friends to take candids.
I just composed myself enough to come back into the house. God this hurts so much. She looked so beautiful, and we both looked so damn happy. I can't believe I F'ed this up so bad.
Sorry if I'm bringing everyone down, just feel like I got hit with a baseball bat right now.
If anything this just deepens my resolve. I love this woman so much...I will be patient enough to let her work through her own issues so she can let go of the pain and anger that she feels towards me.
Gotta go try and get myself under control before tonight.
BITS M: 35 W: 27 T 7.5 years M 5 years No kids My EA: 3/08 Her EA: 1/11, discovered 3/11 (ongoing?) ILYBINILY, D mentioned 3/8/11 W at parents house: 4/16/11
