Thanks for stopping by my thread. I can feel your pain and confusion. It's normal and only time can help. If you've read my thread you know that I too (much later than your timeframe) had to deal with ML with H while he was still with OW. Once I took good stock of myself, I realized I could not do that. But perhaps for reasons different than what others on here say. For me, it was a matter of ethics. Yes, he was my H and I had every right to do so. But there was the OW who thought H had left me and, in her mind, she was on the path to marrying my H. In essence, I was knowingly becoming the OW and I wasn't prepared to do that to anyone knowing the pain it causes. Even if, by most people's opinions, I was in the right and she was in the wrong. I wanted to be the better person. I told my H in a calm way that I could no longer do that. But I did not give the reason that he was cake-eating or getting whatever he wanted. I gave the reason that it was for ME. And it was true.
Setting boundaries is difficult when you are so desperate to get your H back. Knowing how much of your H to keep in your life while he's gallavanting elsewhere is difficult and is an individual decision. There are no right or wrong answers because each relationship is unique as are the partners involved. But what you MUST focus on is what is best for YOU. Yes and what's right for you S, but what is right for YOU is usually what is right for your S as well. Expect nothing, work on detachment, and get used to the fact that your H will be nothing like you remember for quite sometime.
"Love me when I least deserve it, for that is when I need it the most"
M18 Me39,H42 D16 Bomb 1/10 Moved out 3/10 OW 6/10 H wants to R,OW gone 11/10 H moves back 5/11 H wants to wear rings again 9/11
