Well....I made the tough call. I sent the text and got a response immediately. "Thank You". Now I have to resist every urge in my being to do anything else. I know I have to go back to dark.
Something Calystra pointed out that DBMod said a long time ago made me decide to do it. DBmod said to "build the love". When I read over my threads from the last year and a half, one of the biggest mistakes I made was not showing STBX love in an attempt to look like I was strong, and didn't need her. Often when she came to me, I either took too much of what I needed or ignored her. I know it felt to her like I only cared when I needed something from her. That's why she thinks I haven't changed. So..doing something loving today and then not asking for anything in return that is a REAL 180 for me and I hope shows that while I am going on with my life, I do care for her and love her.
