You are so right. It is addictive. For me it allowed me to see how far apart we are in terms of our relationship, how she interacts with other people, what was going on her life and of course what was the engagement with the OM.
Based on the result, I am better off not knowing any of the above. What bothers me about her response is that there is no mention of how I encouraged her to go on the trip with her father, paid for the trip and how I looked after the kids for 10 days with no issues or concerns. No mention of the changes that I have made, how the kids now want to be with me, how I no longer question her about her spending and that I am no longer that impatient/angry guy. A simple "things are better" is all that I would expect, not that I have any expectations.
As you say, they use our snooping to justify their choice. I am still painted as the evil one every chance she gets. No mention of how she was cheating at work, continuing to see OM and not providing me with any indication of where she is taking all of this.
Based on what I have told my IC about my wife's behaviour and actions, she told me several months ago that my wife has some mental issues and is not thinking clearly. How my wife can be so warped in her thinking is really shocking but not all that surprising to me.
