My H has been gone for 18 months now. He is still very much in the same place as when he left. Just as your W, he takes no blame at all for his part in the downfall of our M. As far as he's concerned I deserved what he did and is doing.
Brooklyn is right, your W hasn't even begun to look inside and deal with herself. If and when she does, she'll realize what an amazing man you are. Hopefully, it won't be too late.
Keep walking your path Grit. Wherever it takes you is where you're supposed to be.
