When It Rains, It Pours

[ninelives]

Sorry to hear that Country. Hope I didnt put a damper on things.

Keep the expectations low and contiune to take the HIGH GROUND.

The view is better from up there and you never lose.

9

[Redo]

Country, you handled the whole visit with your in-laws in the most dignified manner. Kudos to you even with convo with your MIL.

I am sorry for your loss of your FIL.

[♪CS♪]

Thanks guys. Thanks to everyone for your words of encouragment through this.

9, no worres. My breakdown last night was just a release I needed. The 2.5 days leading up to it were just so intense. I had to hold everything in while helping the W, and the in-laws. The visit up there was the capper.

I got back to my parents house and it finally just all hit me. I was able to breathe and let go for a bit.

The weekend should settle down as W has D now and I don't think there should be anything else for me to do.

Next week will bring some more f2f with W as we exchange D a couple times. Then there is the service a week from today.

Until then, I have some time to recharge...

[♪CS♪]

Hung out at my parents house today. Washed the cars, took a bike ride etc. Bro came up, that was nice.

I found an article in the newspaper about W's dad. It was nice. He was a Dr. and a very respected man in the community.

W sent me a pic of D today, and we had a little light back and forth. I think the casual chat is nice for her right now.

I want to tell her I saw the article and how nice it was, but don't know if I should.

[islander]

I think you did a great job and seemed to do everything right this weekend, even though...I can't even imagine how difficult it had to have been.

Just keep doing what you are doing, it seems you are getting stronger and stronger everyday. Keep it up!

[♪CS♪]

Thanks islander.

Today is hard, as I know it is for many out there. Holidays just seem to bring up thoughts that are usually easier to ignore.

Between FIL's sudden death and mothers day, I have been thinking about W a lot. Hard not to.

I ordered a 8x10 collage of pics of D with the caption "Happy Mothers Day Mommy" I am still debating whether or not it's too much. When I go to pick it up, I'll get a simple card as well, and then decide before tomorrow what to give her, if either.

[♪CS♪]

I talked to the W. I ended up calling her as we had not yet finalized the plans for tonight as far as timing of me getting D. She answered the phone with a tone in her voice I have not heard in sometime. It sounded like she was genuinely happy to hear from me, it was nice.

We talked about her timing and figured out when I would meet her. I felt like I might of messed up, she mentioned when she would be coming through town and then I offered to meet her so she didn’t have to drive so far. She agreed, but I couldn’t help but wonder afterwards if maybe she wanted to come by the house.

We had a really nice convo. Did talk about her dad some. She sounded very sad of course, but she is dealing with it better than I could have ever imagined. I am sure the reality of it all will take some time to get through though. I mentioned that I read the article in the paper and how nice it was. She was aware of it but hadn’t read it. She mentioned that she would. Probably doesn’t want to quite yet. I didn’t tell her but I contacted the guy who wrote it and he is sending me some hard copies of the paper. Figured in time she might want one.

I told her again how I was thinking of her and her family. She appreciates it.

Afterwards I sent her a pic of the dog catching the Frisbee we had talked about. She responded positively.

Well, I will see her tonight. It will be good to see her.

[Eryam]

I'm glad she seems to be responding so favorably to you, especially in such a difficult time. Trauma (especially death) does interesting things to people. I hope this positive trend continues for the two of you. I think she'll be really appreciative of the papers some day.

[LITB]

I talked to the W. I ended up calling her as we had not yet finalized the plans for tonight as far as timing of me getting D. She answered the phone with a tone in her voice I have not heard in sometime. It sounded like she was genuinely happy to hear from me, it was nice.

Country, you are doing really well. Keep riding the positive waves my friend, as success breeds more success. Good luck meeting the W tonight.

She is watching your every move even if she won't admit it. Your W knows that you have been there for her through her difficult time as much as she will let you. Way to navigate this storm with genuine concern for your W and her family.

[♪CS♪]

Thanks LITB.

The meeting went well, however W seemed pretty sad. I still can't really imagine what she is going through. As sad as I am feeling about her dads passing, it cannot even come close to what she is feeling. I think she has also held a lot in to take care of her mom, now that she is home, I could see it really hitting her.

Since I couldn't see her on Sunday, I gave her the gift "from D" today. She seemed surprised but very grateful. We also talked a bit about D, and she also mentioned again how happy she was I was going to the service.

Not soon after I got home got a text:

"Thank you so much, "D", that was really nice!

Oh, BTW, I ended up going with a simple card that I let D "draw" in and a picture of D that I put in a simple frame. Kept it pretty low key.

I responded: "D says "you're welcome mommy!"

Oh, just one other note that kind of hit me. As I said, she seemed really sad. She looked at me, and said "say hi to (the dog) for me"

I know she loves that dog, but she hasn't brought it up for a long time.

The plan is I will drop D off with her Wed morning, so it won't be long until I see her again.

One thing with all of this, I just can't stop thinking about her. Not just about us, just feeling for her. Regardless of how we end up, she will always be someone I care deeply about. I just can't imagine what she is going through, really wish I could be there to help her more....