Here's the thing. None of this should be a tactic. It should not be calculated on your part.
What it should be is you getting a life. You finding something to do today. Then just saying to your son, I'm going to......and that's it.
It is VERY important that you not involve your children in this. Telling your son you get hurt when you see your w, not a good thing. Puts her in a bad light. Puts him in the middle.
You need to let them handle their relationship with her. It's your job not to do anything to hurt it.
Your son needs to see you navigate this from a place of strength. He needs to see you living your life. If he sees that you are ok, he will be, too.
These changes have to be real or she will see right through it.
You need to give your son the tools he needs to handle this.
And you need to have a conversation with your w. She needs to understand how important it is not to put your son in the middle of this.
