I agree this wont resolve very easily, and I think they will become more open about this as they go. The being good to her approach didnt work at all, she just took it and used it up.
The tough love I started this week, stopping contact and no longer helping her, does seem to impact her more. It certainly inconveniences her and puts her into a big problem with work travel,as she is supposed to travel next week to lead a new business pitch, and cant as i am not babysitiing . She has no family in the city we live in, just my side. Also she doesnt have any friends here as she travels so much. So she is now quite isolated. The om flies in to see her.
Im not sure what dropping the rope means as a term. I now have no marriage relationship with her and no contact. I am working on the finances and a parenting plan for shared custody arrangements. But i dont communicate to her about it.
The work exposure of her Om will definately impact him, as he is only in this exec job for about 8 months and they tend to get rid of problems like this through termination. My wife is definately worried about this and what it will mean for her job. She is very proud of her accomplishments and the type of lifestyle the job affords, so losing it would be devasting.
I havent seperated finances yet fully, mortgages etc, which is what i am working on now with the accountants, its complex and triggers a lot of costs and issues. But it is in process.
She is normally, whatever that means, a financially responsible person, though now has gone on a spending spree, clothes going out, take away meals virtually every night with the kids, buying the kids presents every week. We have always tried to show the children that you dont need to buy things like this, now all i hear is mom bought us this bought us that...Is this common behaviour?
No we dont work together thankfully.
Facingdivorce Me: 46 W: 40 D8 D6 Seperated feb 2011
