Another good read for this situation is the five love languages. It sounds like you both care about each other, just have a very hard time expressing it. As some may point out to you affairs, are usually a symptom not the problem itself. Showing him love in his language may be all he needs to feel respected and loved enough to never stray again. It sounds like he may be truly sorry for his mistake, but is not sure whether he will get his needs met from you if you forgive him. Thus one step in one step out.
Ah well funny you should say that as we were talking about this the other day.
He is a words of affirmation guy, and I have made sure to tell him he's sexy, fit, manly, which he loves. A lot apparently - he says he never felt like that before I used to tell him, and he started to believe it - and now has to keep his ego in check because I've buffed it up so much! *rollseyes*
I think the words of appreciation specifically apply to him which I feel I didn't work on as much as I could have. Don't get me wrong - I have always appreciated him, but probably not said it as much as I should have.
I know he is sorry. He said not long ago that the only thing worse than knowing how much he hurt me, was knowing he couldn't go back and undo it.
I think a MASSIVE part of the problem is that he thinks I will never forgive him. He thinks that because I still am working on us building back trust, there is something wrong. He hates being reminded of what happened and would prefer I never mentioned it again.
Me:33 Him:30 My kids: 7, 4 Our kids:2, 7 months Met:06/2007 Moved in:09/2008 "That" girl:20/03/11 Currently working things out
