Not much further to report on my situation. After reflecting on all of the posts here as well as those on other threads, I have decided not to proceed with any type of confrontation about the status of the OM.
My wife if and when she is ready will decide what her future plans are and whether or not they include me in some fashion. My feeling is that she is still angry with me for my past behaviour, for exposing her EA and even the changes I have made that her in mind should have been made years ago.
I feel that I would lose out in any situation that makes her chose between him or me and that would just increase my wife's anger towards me. I have to continue working on being a better me. Also I have decided that going forward I am not going to do anymore snooping. I have ignored the advice on this board regarding snooping but feel that I need to move away from this activity. It is not attractive behaviour and is doing nothing to relieve my stress or anxiety. What she does from this point forward is her business and not mine.
I really need to focus on becoming the type of person that my wife would chose over the OM instead of worrying what she is currently doing with him.
