Another New Day 3

[islander]

And I agree with that 9. But that is the gist of where I am going.

This is the first time since this began that I really feel like this. I am a good, decent person, and I deserve better than this.

I want my family back, but I want it back the right way, for the right reasons

[islander]

So W sent me this text a little while ago:

"I am so sorry I hurt you. I think the best thing to do is to leave you alone, let you heal and go our separate ways - I think you are a great husband and I am sorry I treated you the way I did - I do not ever want to treat another person the way I have you. I will always love you and the family life we had. We need to talk about the bills sometime Sunday or Monday... I paid most of them this morning leaving us both 200$ for the next two weeks."

I replied:

"You are making the choice to leave me and our family life. It doesn't have to end that way...but you can't see that "


I probably messed up again, i am not going to keep the convo going. I said what I said. It hurts, and I cried my eyes out. I just don't get it

[ninelives]

Islander, I actually felt a stab of pain as i was reading your text but dont let it be the end if you dont want it to.

She is reacting to whats going on right now. Things change, maybe she does mean those things and is ready to move on. AT least that is how she feels today. Who knows how she will feel tommorrow. Dont plead or beg or try to make her see things your way. WE all KNOW that doesnt work. Let her go down the path she has chosen as WRONG as it is.

I KNOW how much this hurts. Trust me, I hurt almost everytime I see that slimeballs truck in my w's driveway. But it is beyond my control. She has made her choice for now and I really only have one choice as do you.

BE the best person you can be. Pick yourself up, dust yourself and go about the business of living because life WILL pass you by otherwise.

Do this for yourself andyour daughter and a sidebar will be because then she will see what she left. A strong, confident man. Dont let her define who you are as a person.

SHE will regret it someday. You know this to be true but she has to go down that road by herself.

My heart goes out to you today Islander.

9

[NEmoose43]

So sorry Islander...this stuff just never gets any easier does it.

I'm learning (the hard way unfortunately) that letting my W walk the path she has chosen is really all I can do...just wish she wouldn't occasionally look back and tease me into following her!

I suppose that the good side of this is that I have learned SO much about myself in this time. Hell, it's only been two months since this started for me, but it feels like years. My hope for you is that you've discovered more about yourself as well, it can only help. We are redefining ourselves every day.

I'll leave you with a quote I rediscovered yesterday: "It's not how many times you get knocked down, it's how many times you get back up."

No one likes getting knocked down man, but we're just down, we are NOT out.

Moose

[jbnati]

Man islander, I so sorry to hear that!! That is TOUGH.

Don't let her words get to you. I know it's tough. Like the others said, be your best. Be strong.

It does sound like she may be feeling a little guilt. And it also sounds like she may be pushing some buttons to validate herself...Don't want to be ignorant or naive though.

[islander]

Today was such a rough day, and I definitely wasn't strong. I cried so many times, and I did not even try to hide it from my D. She is the strong one. She asked me what was wrong, told me she loved me, and tried to put on a puppet show for me. I didn't tell her what was wrong, but she said I miss my W and SD.

I managed to run 6 miles, get some painting done and cooked D a good dinner. She is soooo smart, just kept telling me how much she loved me all day.

Anyway, I feel like complete sh!t tonight. I never contacted W again, and neither did she.

I think she sent me that text bc I ignored all of her texts last night. Then at almost 1 am, she started playing a game in her iPhone with me, one that she abruptly stopped playing with me about a week ago.

I want to call her, text her, talk to her, but I know that wouldn't do any good. I am definitely walking through he!l right now.

[jbnati]

Thank God for your D. I am keeping you in my prayers islander.

Stay strong for your D.

Tomorrow will be better. I keep telling myself this is the darkness before the morning.

[AloneAt35]

Islander,

I am so sorry. That text would have put me in misery too...there is so much conflict in was is said by WAS. "I love you and our family life and always will *BUT* I am leaving..." That makes no sense to me. Its like they have some pre-programmed urge to migrate at a certain time in their life to see if the grass is greener.

When you are going through hell, KEEP GOING! It can only get better Islander, it can only get better. Sometimes all we can do is wait, hope, and pray for our WAS. I am glad that she feels badly about herself and what she is doing to your family...she should.

[islander]

I know I am analyzing and I does t mean anything, but this has absolutely been bugging me all day.

W text me that "I was a great H and she will always love me and the family life we had, she is sorry and that she NEVER WANTS TO HURT SOMEBODY THE WAY SHE HAS HURT ME".

Enough said right, complete BS, the only smart thing I have done is not called her out on it.

If you can't tell, I am a little angry. I just don't understand.

Why is it ok to hurt me and not make it right, but the next R she is in she will do it right.

No answer is necessary, it just kills me.

[AloneAt35]

Islander,

I am so sorry. That text would have put me in misery too...there is so much conflict in was is said by WAS. "I love you and our family life and always will *BUT* I am leaving..." That makes no sense to me. Its like they have some pre-programmed urge to migrate at a certain time in their life to see if the grass is greener.

When you are going through hell, KEEP GOING! It can only get better Islander, it can only get better. Sometimes all we can do is wait, hope, and pray for our WAS. I am glad that she feels badly about herself and what she is doing to your family...she should.